Cutting Deep :
by ShadowsFallenAngels
Summary: Mandy and her Best friend Kaitlyn meet a brand new band named Marianas Trench and suddenly bcome very close friends. Josh Ramsay catches Mandy turning out to be bulimic and helps her to the end of the disease eating her.
1. Skin and Bones

This all started when I was 10. I needed to get out of my life. Why? Well because my father beat me, my mother did nothing and I started to kill myself secretly.

March 12th 2007 I had just turned 18... I was finishing High School. It was a Monday. I dreaded Monday's. My eyes fixed themselves to open and look around my room. It was finally morning. My insomnia let me sleep for about 2 hours. I hadn't slept in 3 days. So 2 hours is pretty exciting! I had finally slept. I got up, and ran to get dressed. Snuck passed my drunken passed out mother, and out to the bus stop. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I barely have any friends. I had Kaitlyn :). She was my best friend, and got me like no one else. I arrived at school, just to spot my boyfriend Keith kissing, Margot. That bitch! I wanted to slap him and her. Instead I walked away and cried. I told Keith we were done, and headed for my locker.

"You okay, Mandy?" Kaitlyn asked. I didn't answer. My eyes were drowned in tears. She hugged be from behind but that just made me cry harder! I turned to face Kaitlyn, wiping my tears away. She looked me in the eyes. "Your not okay. That bitch will die someday" She said with a jokingly smile, then hugged me. I laughed and hugged her back. But I wasn't going to stay at school! I came straight home. My mother waited for me at the end of the day. She was mad, but my dad was furious! He turned to me and screamed! "YOU LITTLE USELESS PIECE OF FLESH! HOW DARE YOU SKIP OUT ON SCHOOL! IT'S SOMETHING YOU NEED. YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT! GET UP TO YOUR ROOM!"

I cried, but I was use to being treated this way. Then suddenly, Kaitlyn entered my room. I was in tears! I just wanted to curl up and die! She told me to come with her. Somewhere we could be alone. "Your going out! With me!" She announced.

"But Kaitie, I'm not feeling well! I'd rather stay home!" I argued. Even though I knew it was pointless for me to argue with her, I knew she would eventually make me go with her, if I wanted too or not. She's a very stubborn child! "Fine, we'll go!" I added. She grinned as though she had won. Yet again!

She pulled me into her car and took off with the car as fast as she could. "Where are we going Kaitie?" I asked.

"You'll see!" She replied. She was very good at keeping things from me.

When we arrived, there were posters all over the door. "Marianas Trench, plays tonight at 8:45! BE THERE!"

"Who is Marianas Trench?" I asked Kaitie.

"A band. A new one. But they are good!" Kaitie replied. She was usually right about this type of thing. We walked in and as soon as we did I wasn't sure, how new this band was!

"There's only 4 people!" I hissed.

"Remember they're still pretty new." She calmed me. As "Marianas Trench" Started to set up, I noticed, that they were really youge. Fresh out of high school band trying to make it big! Just like 4000 other kids. I wasn't sure about them. But they might be alright. I mean Kaitie was my best friend be cause we knew things our friends would like. But as soon as they started to sing, my drama filled crappy life, didn't seem to matter anymore. They opened my heart. They could sing! They had real talent! Unlike the music we had today! They were amazing! After the show it seemed me and Kaitie were the only ones actually listening to them. Right after the show Kaitie and I, walked to the side of the stage, we were waiting to be greeted by the amazing Marianas Trench.

The singer spotted me and quickly whispered to the entire band, before we reached them. "Marianas Trench... Right?"

"Well actually My names Josh, but that's the name of this band.. I think." He replied. I grinned a little.

"Well, I just came to say you have a couple new fans, such as my self!" I told him. He looked at me in excitement.

"WOOHOO! Hear that guys? Another fan! That's totally amazing!" He shouted.

"Guys we need to get going! Its Mike and Matt's bed time... Josh's too!" The drummer had interrupted. It was sad seeing them go, but then again I had just met them. Now I was worried about my father when I got home about my mother and fathers reaction! I hadn't told them where I was, and if I was going out.


	2. Say Anything

I Reached home, and as soon as I walked through that door, the screams and yell reached my ears. I didn't want to live in this world. I hated myself. I hated what happened to me. Meeting Marianas Trench, was the only amazing thing that will ever happen to me. To my dad I'm just useless. He doesn't treat me like a daughter... He doesn't even want me as his daughter! Plus my mother is never sober so I don't think she can help. "WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN? YOU STUPID IDIOT! ITS PASSED CURFEW! HELL I WOULD HAVE BEEN HAPPY IF YOU WERE GONE NOW!" Was my fathers warming greeting words. A viscous slap, skim across my face. A small tear exited my eye and hit the floor. Just as I did. I had fallen. I father kicked me in the gut, and walked away. Did he not realize what a dick he was? He was hurting me. His child.

My mother came to help me up. I was angry tired and sore. I wasn't hungry. Not at all. I hadn't eaten all day, yet I wasn't hungry. This was usual. I locked myself in my room. It's where I would be living for the next 5 weeks! Normally I would enjoy this, but after meeting Marianas Trench, well Josh, Mike, Matt and Ian. Well it was exciting! And I found my grounding less enjoyable.

I looked up into the mirror in my room. I looked flush. There was a hand print on my right cheek. I felt sick to my stomach. I ran to my bathroom and locked myself in there. I dropped to the tiled floor and lowered my face into the toilet bowl. I stuck a fingure down my throat and it all came I finally finished I arose from the ground and looked myself in the mirror. My face was flushed and my mouth and throat burned. I washed out my mouth and returned to my room.

Tomorrow was Monday and I wasn't looking forward to school! Should I even go? I mean, Keith was still alive and so was Margot. The only person excited to see me might as well be Kaitlyn! I heard foot steps. They were headed for my door. "Shut out you little before your father wakes up!" A voice whispered, but loud enough for me to slighty catch. I did as told, like I normally was. But I didn't sleep. I never did. I was too busy thinking about how my life could just simply end. And how I secretly wanted that. Like I'd ever tell anyone though. They'd admit me to and insane asylum! I did have suicide thoughts but I could never do it.

After a couple of days passed, my precious silence in my room was broken by a shout. A shout of my name. From the window. Slowly but surely I got my way tot he window, opened it more and looked down. "Kaitlyn?" I asked.

"MANDY! COME DOWN! Marianas Trench!"

"Kaitlyn, I'm still grounded!"

"Sneak out you idiot!"

My mom was out tonight, and my dad is probably not gonna be home till like 4 in the morning! They never checked on me. So maybe for a little while. I ran down the stairs, and out the door! There Kaitlyn was, laughing at my ninja skills, to attempt to lock the door. I failed the first four times, and finally got it. We had a small drive. But we were gonna try and talk as much as possible before we got there. "So where is this place?" I asked

"In and Irish Pub" She replied with a grin on her face

"IN A BAR? What the hell! How the fuck do you think were gonna get in?" I asked in shock

"I have ideas"

"I swear to god, Kaitlyn if I get driven home by and Policeman I will kill you!" I answered, as a final statement of the conversation and once the car came to a stop I walked out of the car and, saw the line up. "Ben! Its me. Kaitie! Let us in!" He demanded

"Kaitie! How are you hun?" The man- Obviously Ben- answered

"Ben! Not now! Let us in" She repeated

"Babe smile a little." Ben replied with a joking laugh. He opened the door and we walked in. Not many people were here. I was shocked. But they rocked it at the last one. But yet here we were and barely anyone was there.

Kaitlyn and I sat in a booth and waited. Finally, Marianas Trench took the stage, and I was so happy by it. They opened with a song, called "Say Anything" It was interesting. It sounded like, someone who had frustration and just let it out. It sounded different from their other songs.

As soon as the show was over I was planning on leaving. I just wanted to go. But Kaitlyn insisted. Josh greeted us as the side of the stage. "Hi girls! Weren't you girls at our last show?" He asked. I nodded.

"Yes, we were." Kaitlyn replied.

"You two are a bit youge for a bar aren't you?" Josh questioned.

"We are like 2 years younger that you! So please!" I answered.

"Awww they broke the law just to see us" Ian cried. I almost died. The security dude was staring right at us. I was for sure that we were gonna die! "Well then they need presents! JOSH SIT! Girls just sit on Santa's lap, That would be Josh's, and I'll be back." Said Ian. Josh sat, and patted his lap. He actually wanted us to sit on his lap! I was like gonna die! Kaitlyn and I sat, and heard a little "Huff!" noise from Josh. I wasn't that fat! Ian returned with two CD's. It was their EP. Josh was handed the CD's, and he handed them to us, then kinda had a look on his face that said "Oh my god, get off of my lap" So I did.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Yah, you can take it all away and i'll miss, there's a little of you in all this! You know I hate myself.<strong>_


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